Inner Self Care: Identifying Our Needs and Finally Getting Them Met

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Dear Friends,

I recently started listening to Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, and so enjoyed the episode entitled "SELF CARE: How do we identify our real needs and finally get them met." This podcast is one of the top 20 most listened to in the US, so you may already be familiar with it. One of the things I find fascinating is that Glennon is dedicated to looking deeply at what's happening underneath the surface, and there's a LOT going on underneath the surface around the subject of self care! I decided to share this podcast with you all, just in case self care, or deeply respecting your own needs, is hard for you too.

Glennon explains that women often think of self care in terms of the care of the "outer-self". This kind of self care might look like mani-pedi's, diets, skin creams, and potions. And while all these things are great, they don't address our inner world, in fact, these things all make us look better and more acceptable to the outside world.

There's a whole deeper level of self care that has to do with meeting our own needs, and these needs may have been ignored for years or even decades. So true for many of us.

I hear quite often, mostly from women, how guilty they feel taking care of themselves, and how comfortable they are taking care of everyone around them. I can so relate to this feeling. It takes a lot of courage to simply look at our deeper needs, like the need for rest, for instance.

Many of us have been trained to be a martyr, instead of a model of self care for those around us. Often we don't want to upset the status quo, or feel we can't. And so we abandon ourselves.

Here are some of the topics covered in the podcast:

  1. How do we create lives that we don’t need to escape from?

  2. Why our resentment toward others is our Secret Self-Care Signal.

  3. Why refusing to be selfless is the best way to care for others and the world.

  4. How to stop passing down the brutal legacy of martyrdom to our children.

I've been in conversations around these topics for years and feel so happy that that Glennon Doyle is shining a light on this very shadowy area that affects us and our families so deeply. These are juicy topics and they are worth some reflection time.

I'll leave you with one question:

How we can begin to be models of self care for our families and at our work places?